United Response supported a gentleman named Clive for many years. Sadly, Clive passed away in 2019. Yet, here on a cold morning in 2023, Service Manager Linda Sutton is laughing as if he is still in the room.  

Linda pauses from listing the laughs they shared together, before saying:  

Have you ever met somebody where, when they come into the room, you can guarantee they’re going to set the room alight? That was Clive.

Clive and his partner, Liz  

A true prankster and entertainer, Clive could have been on the stage. He loved music and campervans, but most of all, he deeply cared for his life partner Liz. Liz and Clive were almost inseparable and had lived together for many years.  

Liz and Clive would often spend much of every day together, enjoying being each other’s company through life. Brimley, the service where they lived, would set flowers on the dining table for them on special occasions, which Clive revelled in. This continued right until the end of Clive’s life – they dined with roses on Clive’s last Valentine’s Day.  

Linda said:  

There’s no doubt in my mind that Clive was the love of Liz’s life. Right until the end, he loved her thoroughly.

Living life to the full  

Clive had a quick wit, a natural kindness, and an easy grasp of joy. He was able to find something to smile about in the simplest of moments.  

Tina Gray, a United Response Area Manager who knew Clive for many years, recalled taking Clive for a drive in the sunshine. She remembered watching as he looked up at the clouds through the sunroof.  

He was really looking at them and loving the sunshine.

Clive came from a very close family and his cousin Sue Harvey played an important role in his life. As children they enjoyed playing chase around Clive’s garden and spent many Christmases together.  

Sue (left) and Clive (right) spent many happy times together

Their grandfather was an undertaker, which, in those days, meant he had horses to pull the hearse. Clive loved visiting his grandfather at the yard.

Remembering Clive, Sue said:  

He was gentle and warm, and he had the loveliest smile. I was always very proud of the warmth in his personality.

Some things never change   

Clive had a passion for music which lasted him from the earliest days of his life right until the end.  Sue explained that Clive’s love of music was there from the start.

As a little girl, I remember Clive sitting on the sofa, listening to records and pretending to conduct with his handkerchief. I think it transported him, and you could see that he was in a very happy place.

Clive with his Mum and Dad, Olive and Allan

As his dementia progressed, Clive stopped playing records. But if you put a record in his hand, he would run his fingers over the edge of the record. The same was true of books. Gradually, he moved from reading the words to looking at the pictures and feeling the pages, but the care he had for the stories was never lost.  

Tina explained:  

As he started to lose his cognition to dementia, there was never any sign of him becoming anything other than Clive, which is really unusual in dementia.

Linda, Tina, Sue and others worked very hard so they could keep Clive at his home as his dementia worsened.

Remembering what they achieved, Linda explained:  

Caring for Clive, keeping him here and making sure he had the world he wanted around him for all of his days, has been one of the proudest moments of my long career.

The service made a collage to remember Clive and his charismatic personality.

Clive’s legacy 

Clive’s Mum left money in her Will to United Response, so that she could continue to make life better for people with learning disabilities even after she’d gone. When the time came to sort out Clive’s affairs, Sue and the family decided to give to Brimley, Clive’s service.  

It was a very easy decision to pass that onto Brimley. Clive had been given such a happy life there.

Clive, with his Mum, Olive

The money is supporting a memorial garden project. Clive loved being outside with Liz when he could, so this is a perfect project to remember him with.  

How to leave us a gift in your Will

A closing word

Clive was a remarkable person. A true entertainer; even now, his stories are still sending laughs rippling around rooms. His memory alone can set a room alight.  

As Tina says:  

Every now and again, there’s somebody that comes along that really touches your heart. And Clive was one of those. He really did touch my heart.

  • Ali Mills is Communications and Engagement Officer at United Response

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