Mother’s Day: Five mums of people we support in Kingston share their experiences
Being a Mum is tough, but being a Mum to someone with a disability or autism brings its own unique challenges.
Enterprise Team Leader Nora Kerezovic visited one of our newer Supported Living services in New Malden to meet Elena, Gurm, Kym, Rajani and Tracy, and find out why they and their sons chose a house with us…
Gurm and Arjun’s story
As we are getting older, it was really important that we got support in place now, so that Arjun would be used to the place and we were happy with what’s going on.
Kym and Glenn’s story
When Glenn was 19, I realised that eventually he needed to not be living with me, as I was going to get older and I wasn’t going to be able to look after him.
Rajani and Umesh’s story
It all started because I had an accident and I can’t physically look after him. His Dad works full time and his twin sister is also under pressure so we needed somewhere for Umesh.
Elena and Rustam’s story
We were looking for something local so I could come and visit Rustam, pick him up and take him home and just spend time with him.
Tracy and Lewis’ story
We visited and straight away the feeling was right. The big spacious rooms, the large garden – we just felt that it was going to be right for our boy.
Nora, Service Manager Angelika and the mums gathered in the ‘heart of the home’ – the kitchen – to talk about each of their families’ experiences:
Elena: The service was set up during Covid.
Nora: So quite the challenge.
Gurm: Extremely difficult. They did amazingly as Arjun and Glenn moved in first and that was in January. They were here full time.
Kym: Then we could only come into the house, into the sensory room, not anywhere else. The boys had to settle in by themselves really, they didn’t have us saying come to your bedroom or wandering around – they didn’t have that. They transitioned really well.
Gurm: To be honest, they’d rather be here than come home. One hundred percent.
Nora: They have their independence and it sounds like you’ve got a tiny bit of yours.
Kym: Yes we have. It’s a learning curve.
Elena: As a parent of a disabled child, you feel guilty about it as well.
Rajani: You don’t want to let go. You want them to be happy.
Kym: The Service Manager (Angelika) is amazing. She’s our boss.
Angelika: I’m not the boss – the boys are the bosses.
Gurm: She’s there 24/7. We can call her anytime, text her and she will get back to us. I think that is the reassurance that we need. If there’s any problems with the boys, Angelika would contact us and say. She’s honest and transparent with us. We don’t want someone to fob us off and tell us its okay. We want someone to tell us, we had a bad day or a bad night.
Kym: She’s real. She can also tell us its fine. Stop worrying – those sorts of things. To know there’s someone there to help is amazing. We’ve not had that. We’ve had social workers, which is great. But to have someone where your boys live is a real help.
Rajani: The trust is there! It’s amazing.
Looking for support?
To find out more about supporting a relative, please use our online form to make a support enquiry.